| Author | Message | ||
| R. Terry (205.188.195.191)
Rating: N/A |
Although the Salvage Yard on Wheels has not yet returned to the road to try out its new fifteen hundred-dollar radiator, it continues to be a source of bewildering amazement. I mean amusement. Several years ago when I lost my house after the divorce, I had to give up my dog. In the year and a half that I have been a bus conversion full-timer, I seem to miss not having my dog more than anything else. He has since died, I have my kids on the weekends, and the house just has a bunch of bad memories attached to it. So I miss my dog most. What I need is a pet. What I got isn’t at all what I wanted. I came home after work one summer evening, sat down on the Flexsteel sofa, and did what everyone does: I took off my shoes and socks, grabbed the remote control and flipped on the TV, the VCR, the DVD, and the Home Theater Surround Sound system. Then I did what nobody does: I got bitten by an ant! It was not an ant, after all — it was ten thousand ants! To my horror, the whole inside of the bus was covered with ants — those industrious little buggers who can smell a crumb of burnt toast through the permeating fragrance of diesel fuel that keeps my parking lot smelling like a Greyhound Bus Station. How the hell do they do that? Try to imagine the size disparity between a tiny little brown ant and a great big GMC 4104 coach. Try to imagine you are an ant looking up at that huge, monstrous thing, a zillion times bigger than you. Then one of your workaholic ant conspirators says, “Can you smell that?” And you say, “Smell what?” “Bread crumbs!” “Where?” “Right there, in that continent in the sky.” I took a closer look. I should have been grateful. Those micro-maids were hauling off all the refuse from my toaster. But one of them bit me, so I got out the vacuum cleaner. Before I turned it on I had to find out where they came from and how they got in the bus. Although there are holes in the floor throughout the bus, the ants had only one highway, which all ants used, in and out of the bus. Upon a closer inspection, I found that every ant going in one direction stops momentarily with every other ant going in the opposite direction. How efficient is that? Every ant is high five-ing every ant every time! The trail of perpetual high fivers ran from the kitchen, around the cabinets, along the driver’s-side wall behind the TV and into the console next to the driver’s seat. Outside, through a convoluted series of switchbacks only an ant could appreciate, they found their way to the AC power cord where they “plank-walked” down to the ground, across the parking lot and under a storage shed. Ants, millions of hungry ants. Frankly, I would never go to that much trouble to get a sandwich. But then, I’m not an ant. So, what’s the lesson here? Don’t be such a pig while making toast? Or is it, patch up all those holes in the bus? That would be a good idea, as it would make the bus warmer in the winter and cooler in the summer. Or is it, make sure your power cord is suspended from the outlet to the bus, never touching the ground? At the time, I thought suspending the cord was the right answer. I draped the power cord, the coax cable from the outside TV antenna, and the separate extension cord to the air compressor that keeps my airbags pumped up over the CB radio antenna mounted by the windshield. This docking trick is actually more important for another reason: it keeps people from stepping on, and possibly tripping over, your cords. Thank you, ants! To show my appreciation, I spent the next two hours sucking every last one of them into the vacuum cleaner. I’m sure they tried to get out of the bag, but I wonder how many ants got stuck to the duct tape I put over the hole? (Sorry, but next time don’t bite me!) As far as my new pets go, this was not the end of it. In my next installment, I will tell you what not to shop for at Walmart on the day after Thanksgiving. I still miss my dog. But not the ants. Happy busin’! R. Terry | ||
| Glenn Isaacs (Paso) (209.178.172.115)
Rating: N/A |
We have two or three verietys of ant where I live in central california that bite,you can find them all over,they don't come in the house usualy unless were not home for a week or so{Idont know how they know} I go find all there holes and pour a small amount of gas down each one,it fix's the problem for a while,of course this would kill a garden if we had one. Our yard is au natural! | ||
| R.C.Bishop (128.123.88.15)
Rating: N/A |
Hey, Terry, Thanx for a brief moment of merriment in this hectic world . Merry Christmas to you! Here's to your finding a GREAT dog. (I have two) R C B | ||
| Joe Laird (Joelaird) (198.81.16.31)
Rating: N/A |
Terry, I have enjoyed your continuing saga of bus ownership. It's great to see someone with a sense of humor these days. Hang in there and keep us entertained. Joe | ||
| CoryDanes RTSII NE/IL (4.17.253.67) Rating: N/A |
Well to the end of a bad day (again) I find this humourous and telltale note of a problem I once had with the RV. (Well, the damn bus isnt near done yet!) These ambitious varmints were walking up the 30amp cord, inside through the 110v ac outlet to the inside of the coach, then it was anything goes for them suckas. I remedied this problem by dropping the cord in a pail of water, makeing sure the cord did not touch the sides of the pail going from the water to the the RV. Smart as they were, they could not find a way to get to that cord islanded in the middle of the pail. As long as there was water in the pail, they can't get in. Now if I can only find where those damn mice are getting in! Thanks for the note, it brightened my day. - cd | ||
| Ace Rossi (24.28.44.126) Rating: N/A |
BEWARE! AS a self taught bus conversionalist, (is that a word) never store cut un-used lumber in one of your bays and then park on the grass in the back yard no less! Here in Florida, BIG RED BULL ants have made it a cafeteria on wheels by day and a motel 01 at night!  That's my story! The plus side to this is they are big enough and you can spot them crawling, and they only seem to come at you one at a time! Ace PS They will be long gone before bussin 02 |