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R. TERRY (64.12.102.43)

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Posted on Sunday, December 09, 2001 - 9:15 pm:   

I had to laugh! Before I got to tell the second half of my story, there were already numerous responses to the subject I had not posted yet. But here it is anyway. Thanks for enjoying the first half!

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Previously, I said I would tell you what not to buy at Walmart the day after Thanksgiving. What you should not buy is ANYTHING!

That's right, the day after Thanksgiving you would have to be out of your gourd to go to Walmart. However, it did make me wish I owned one of those stores. Nevertheless, in my opinion, your reason to be shopping there on the day after Thanksgiving would have to be mighty compelling, or you just can't help yourself. I may or may not have had one of those reasons, or both, but I was there. I needed something for the bus.

Before I tell you about my newest pets—not exactly replacements for the dog I wish I had—let me explain my idea of hunting and fishing. First, you catch a fish, then you put him in the aquarium and feed him everyday for the rest of your life, or until the power company turns off your electricity and all the fish die. Second, you painstakingly track down an elk, carefully take aim, then shoot him with your high powered Nikon, having lots of enlargements made at your favorite photo lab. That's the correct way to hunt and fish.

The day before Thanksgiving, I was hopping into my bunk when I saw something scurrying along the wall toward the kitchen. I flipped on the light in time to see a little mouse about the size and color of a walnut, stop, look around with those little bitty eyes on that little bitty face, then run for his life! In a flash he shot across the bus and into a hole in the engine compartment bench where the cord for the engine pre-heater used to come in. (An engine pre-heater in Phoenix?)

To my complete surprise, there was a mouse in my house. (!) He was the cutest little guy, too. My new little bus buddy. I covered up the hole and went to bed.

Before long I heard some rustling around in the kitchen, kind of a scratching sound, like from teensy, weensy little claws. I got in there in time to see the mouse hurrying along the piece of wood that runs underneath the windows behind the TV from the kitchen counter to the console next to the driver. There he disappeared into a ridiculously small hole through which no walnut could ever go. I spent the next hour covering up holes in the floor with aluminum flashing tape, a pointless exercise since aluminum tape won't stick to rain damaged, severely splintered plywood. (Did I mention that this is the Salvage Yard on Wheels?)

Thursday I went off to have Thanksgiving with friends, and Thursday night I found incriminating evidence that my new bus buddy had been in the cupboards. You know what I mean: Black pepper that is too big to be black pepper. Yuck! This is where Walmart comes in.

In case I forgot to mention it, don't ever go to Walmart on the day after Thanksgiving! Instead, take the transmission out of your bus and do a major overhaul. It will be much less frustrating!

I bought one of those environmentally friendly traps where the mouse goes in, can't get out and doesn't get killed. Then you drive 40 miles out of town and let the little guy go. (Of course he will be eaten by an owl, but that's beside the point.) I loaded it with a Pringles cheese flavored potato chip—who can resist that? I sure can't!—and headed down to my mom's in Southeastern Arizona to pick up my kids and have leftover turkey.
I was hoping the mouse would not expire before I got back.

The expression, "Build a better mouse trap," did not apply to this device. I worried for nothing. This mouse was too smart. But he was also a bad, bad mouse. Bad mouse!

On the kitchen counter in a basket was a cheese packet from a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, indisputably every American kid's favorite food. The powdered cheese, no longer in the packet, was scattered all over the kitchen! It looked like a Cheetos party gone berserk. This had been one busy mouse.

I grabbed the keys, jumped in the car as fast as I could and burned rubber all the way to Home Depot. Two snap traps later—the kind where a mouse goes to instant oblivion—, and I was ready. Ten minutes later, I heard the excruciating snap. Poor little guy; he should have gone for the Pringle. Not long after that the other one fired.

The next morning I set the two traps again, confident the nasty deeds had been done, and went to work. Yet, when I got home, two more bus buddies were snapped flat. Oh, dear. I set them again. That evening I heard them fire two more times. By the end of the next day, I had disposed of eight adorable, cute little mice. I mean, cheese-eating devils! Where is a good snake when you need one?

Maybe I don't need a dog after all. I think a cat will do just fine.

Cute little guys, though. SNAP! Sorry.

Happy busin'!

R. Terry
DrivingMissLazy (65.207.109.60)

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Posted on Monday, December 10, 2001 - 6:48 am:   

Thanks Terry for a bright spot in the day.
Richard
Jerry H. (Coachconversion) (65.2.65.246)

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Posted on Monday, December 10, 2001 - 11:55 am:   

Mouse in my house. May I add to that?
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About 3 years ago, while completing our addition on our home, I went out to my storage building to bring in a Viking rangetop unit (previously a display unit).

While inspecting it, I found the large pepper you wouldn't want to eat (as described by R.Terry) and told my helper that I'd better clean that oh so well, for if my lovely spouse has an inkling that a mouse once roamed here, the jigs up -- we'll be buying a new cooktop. We brought it in, it was sparkling clean and not a tell tale sign of you-know-what!

My wife was in the basement cleaning the new floor with my shop-vac. I was upstairs in the kitchen area. What do I see in the corner of my eye? Mickey sitting on the counterless dustcovers of our new cabinets. I didn't want him to run and hide, I certainly didn't want my wife to know that our brand new home had a mouse in it -- she'd make me bulldoze it.

I carefully escaped to retrieve the shop-vac. When I returned, he was still there. First, let me tell you, I have little sympathy for mice. Positioning myself, I turned on the vacs switch and swoosh, rattle, thud ... my minature guest was gone.

My wife came up stairs asking what I needed the vac for, I scrambled for another answer, but before I could, she exclaimed "What is a mouse doing in my house?"

Nuts I thought, another furry critter. Turns out, a momma mouse had her babies in this rangetop.

Over the next few days, family friends and workmen would find a mouse -- five in all. The painter, while painting the family room walls called over to me and said I had a cute mouse, thinking it was a pet that I allowed to roam the house.

The mightly shop-vac was called to answer numerous mouse sightings -- it's very effective, but not too gentle. Don't expect to find them bouncing around when you open the lid.

The vac works well for bees too, but that's another story.

Thanks for allowing me to share.

Jerry

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