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R TERRY (64.12.96.235)
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 04, 2003 - 1:47 pm: | |
The morning following that spectacular ballgame, we hustled over to Arche's to pick up our new used truck tire expertly mounted on our rusty old 6-lug split rim. With any luck, we'd be driving our famous landmark around the block, scaring the neighbors and causing small children to cry.
We put the wheel on the bus. Piece of cake. I reconnected the batteries. Giant spark! Something was wrong. Either there was a short somewhere, or something was turned on that drew a lot of current. Up in the Captain's Flightdeck (Hey, it's MY story, remember?), Ryan found a three-position switch labled High, Off, Low. It was in the High position -- a fan for the Heater, Defroster, whatever; at least it worked.
I hit the start button and, as expected, the engine burst upon the scene with its usual lethal intoxicants. While we waited for the air pressure to come up, I cleaned the windshield and the mirrors while Ryan removed the wheel chocks and gathered up the tools. I made a final inspection under the bus checking for any fluid leaks or foreign objects we might run over, like a dead body, that sort of thing.
Back at the Flightdeck, I jammed the seat cushion into the frame and took my place behind the wheel. The last time I drove a vehicle this old, it was pulling a plow through my grandmother's cotton crop; but this is nothing like that. I surveyed the environment both inside and out. (The environment inside looked really, really bad.) I noticed there was no clutch pedal or manual gearshift lever protruding from the floor. Ah-h, a modern conveyence with automatic features!
In the panel along the wall next to the driver's seat was a lever in a slot marked Forward, Neutral, Reverse. (For the sake of continuity, why didn't they mark it Forward, Neutral, Backward?) With my foot on the brake, I tried to ease the shift lever into Forward. Grind. I tried a little harder. Grind louder. I moved it back into Reverse. More grinding. This isn't good...
OK, what am I missing here? Let's see, there's no clutch pedal, and I don't see any button to push as with a manual Spicer to engage Reverse. There's nothing else here!
I shut the engine off, placed the shifter in Forward and restarted the engine. All was well, the bus was in gear, and ready to roll. I pressed down the throttle. Again, nothing. More throttle, still nothing. VARO-O-OM-M-M-M! The bus didn't even begin to move.
Maybe the brakes won't release. Maybe the rear tires are stuck in the mud. Maybe I will win the lottery and buy a new Prevost.
Well, maybe not, but it is Ryan's lucky day since he gets to drive the truck. Skillfully, he maneauvers the pickup in front of the bus where we hook up the tow chain. Ryan easily pulls the beast out about 20 feet from its resident spot behind the Laundromat, answering any questions about stuck brakes or stuck in the mud.
And, most notibly, for the first time in a couple of years, there won't be an old bus behind which the local "hipsters" can disappear to... you know... smoke dope.
Oh-h-h, I get it now... That explains the landmark thing.
R TERRY |
eagle 5 (67.30.23.28)
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 04, 2003 - 2:51 pm: | |
what's the 20 on the smoke...I get it now....it's fiction, but this guy is just writeing for "ART"
O.K.
THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM NANTUCKET |
R TERRY (152.163.252.163)
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 05, 2003 - 5:48 am: | |
Not one single reported event in this story is fiction.
The guys we saw behind the bus late one night, hunched around some flaming apparatus, sure as hell were not eating Nachos!
Furthermore, I've never seen anyone try to stuff Nachos in their pockets as fast as they could.
Have you?
R TERRY |
Peter Broadribb (Madbrit) (170.215.59.102)
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 05, 2003 - 7:30 am: | |
Well I, for one, believe you Randy.
Keep up the good scribing work.
Peter. |
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