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Message |
Linda 4104 FL
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 10, 2004 - 7:00 pm: | |
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said "Hey baby, let's play Weeweechu."
"Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon" said Jung Lee.
"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Huan Cho Begged.
"But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon."
"Please Jung Lee, just once play Weeweechu with me."
Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said, "OK, we'll play Weeweechu."
Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....
"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year." |
Jtng
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 10, 2004 - 8:22 pm: | |
A guy bought his wife a 10 carat diamond ring for Christmas.
She was thrilled!
Hearing about his expensive gift, his brother asked:
"I thought she wanted one of those big SUVs?"
"She did," he said, "But where was I going to find a fake Hummer?"
(anonymous author) |
Jtng
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 10, 2004 - 8:42 pm: | |
The Angel on the Christmas Tree Not long ago and far away, Santa was
getting ready for his annual trip. But there were problems
everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did
not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was
beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This
stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them
were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out,
heaven knows where. More Stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and
the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So
frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot
of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hid
the liquor and there was nothing to drink.
In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into
hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get
the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door.
He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big
Christmas tree.
The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree Santa?"
And that my friend, is how the little angel came to be on top of the
Christmas tree.
(Credit: http://www.skrause.org/humor/angelontree.shtml ) |
t gojenola
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 10, 2004 - 11:42 pm: | |
Twas the night before Christmas
old Santa was pissed,
He cussed out the elves
and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats,
Ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind,
To scrap the whole works.
I've busted my ass
for damn near a year
Instead of "Thanks Santa" what do I hear..
The old lady bitches
cause I work late at night
the elves want more money
And the reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk
and goosed all the maids.
Donner is Pregnant
Vixon has AIDS
And just when I thought
That things would get better,
The IRS,
They sent me a letter.
They say I owe taxes,
If that aint damn funny..
Who the hell ever
Sent Santa any money?
And the kids these days,
They all are the pits.
They want the impossible,
Those mean little shits.
I spent a whole year
Making wagons and sleds
with no request for them
They want computers and Robots,
They think I am IBM
If you think that is bad
Picture this..
Try holding those brats
with their pants full of piss.
They pull on my nose,
They grab at my beard
And if I don't smile,
The parents think I'm weird
Flying through the air,
Dodging the trees.
Falling down chimneys
And skinning my knees.
I quit this job,
There is just no enjoyment
I'm going to sit on my fat ass
And collect unemployment
There is NO Christmas this year
Now you know the reason
I found me a blonde
and heading SOUTH for the season.... |
airless in Mississippi (Airless_in_mississippi)
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 11, 2004 - 12:43 am: | |
The Twelve Days of Christmas
On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A BUS for my conversion.
On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two rooftop airs,
And A BUS for my conversion.
On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three Plastic Tanks,
Two rooftop airs,
And A BUS for my conversion.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four batteries connected,
Three Plastic Tanks,
Two rooftop airs,
And A BUS for my conversion.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five KW Generator,
Four batteries connected,
Three Plastic Tanks,
Two rooftop airs,
And A BUS for my conversion.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six solar grids ,
Five KW Generator,
Four batteries connected,
Three Plastic Tanks,
Two rooftop airs,
And A BUS for my conversion.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven sheets of flooring,
Six solar grids ,
Five KW Generator,
Four batteries connected,
Three Plastic Tanks,
Two rooftop airs,
And A BUS for my conversion
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight wheels a-shining,
Seven sheets of flooring,
Six solar grids ,
Five KW Generator,
Four batteries connected,
Three Plastic Tanks,
Two rooftop airs,
And A BUS for my conversion
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine ladies working,
Eight wheels a-shining,
Seven sheets of flooring,
Six solar grids ,
Five KW Generator,
Four batteries connected,
Three Plastic Tanks,
Two rooftop airs,
And A BUS for my conversion
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten fellows a-raising,
Nine ladies working,
Eight wheels a-shining,
Seven sheets of flooring,
Six solar grids ,
Five KW Generator,
Four batteries connected,
Three Plastic Tanks,
Two rooftop airs,
And A BUS for my conversion
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven plumbers piping,
Ten fellows a-raising,
Nine ladies working,
Eight wheels a-shining,
Seven sheets of flooring,
Six solar grids ,
Five KW Generator,
Four batteries connected,
Three Plastic Tanks,
Two rooftop airs,
And A BUS for my conversion
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve carpenters finishing,
Eleven plumbers piping,
Ten fellows a-raising,
Nine ladies working,
Eight wheels a-shining,
Seven sheets of flooring,
Six solar grids ,
Five KW Generator,
Four batteries connected,
Three Plastic Tanks,
Two rooftop airs,
And A BUS for my conversion |
pipes
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 11, 2004 - 11:19 am: | |
My kids wanted a watch for xmas .
.
.
So I let them |
Randall Hays (Bulldogie)
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 14, 2004 - 6:01 pm: | |
Coast Guard Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas and all through
each state, Coast Guard families were starting to
celebrate. Just then from the white House came an
urgent call, A crisis had arisen that would affect
one and all.
In fact the U.S. State Department was frantic, For
Santa Claus had just landed in the Atlantic! It
Was foggy as ever; Rudolph had made a blunder.
Santa, sleigh, and eight reindeer were going
under.
Though the stockings were hung by the chimneys
with care. Poor Santa gurgled, "I'll never get
there." When what to his wondering eye should
appear; But some coast guard cutters with their
rescue gear!
The officers and crew were so lively and quick;
Sure was a lucky break for good ole Saint Nick.
With a nod from the captain. they went right to
work. Rudolph was embarrassed, he felt like a
jerk.
Poor Santa was soggy, but as anyone could see, He
was very grateful to the U.S.C.G! And we heard him
exclaim as they towed him from sight, "If it
weren't for age and weight, I'd enlist Tonight!" |
FAST FRED
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 5:20 am: | |
For the the Blue Water boaters ,
_________________-
Christmas At Sea
Robert Louis Stevenson
The sheets were frozen hard, and they cut the naked hand;
The decks were like a slide, where a seaman scarce could stand,
The wind was a nor'-wester, blowing squally off the sea;
And cliffs and spouting breakers were the only things a-lee.
They heard the surf a-roaring before the break of day;
But 'twas only with the peep of light we saw how ill we lay.
We tumbled every hand on deck instanter, with a shout,
And we gave her the maintops'l, and stood by to go about.
All day we tack'd and tack'd between the South Head and the North;
All day we haul'd the frozen sheets, and got no further forth;
All day as cold as charity, in bitter pain and dread,
For very life and nature we tack'd from head to head.
We gave the South a wider berth, for there the tide-race roar'd;
But every tack we made we brought the North Head close aboard;
So's we saw the cliffs and houses, and the breakers running high,
And the coastguard in his garden with his glass against his eye.
The frost was on the village roofs as white as ocean foam;
The good red fires were burning bright in every 'longshore home;
The windows sparkled clear, and the chimneys volley'd out;
And I vow we sniff'd the victuals as the vessel went about.
The bells upon the church were rung with a mighty jovial cheer;
For it's just that I should tell you how (of all days of the year)
This day of our adversity was blessed Christmas morn,
And the house above the coastguard's was the house where I was born.
O well I saw the pleasant room, the pleasant faces there,
My mother's silver spectacles, my father's silver hair;
And well I saw the firelight, like a flight of homely elves
Go dancing round the china-plates that stand upon the shelves!
An well I knew the talk they had, the talk that was of me,
Of the shadow on the household and the son that went to sea;
An O the wicked fool I seem'd, in every kind of way,
To be here and hauling frozen ropes on blessed Christmas Day.
They lit the high sea-light, and the dark began to fall.
'All hands to loose topgallant sails!' I heard the captain call.
'By the Lord, she'll never stand it,' our first mate Jackson cried.
. . . 'It's the one way or the other, Mr. Jackson,' he replied.
She stagger'd to her bearings, but the sails were new and good,
And the ship smelt up to windward just as though she understood.
As the winter's day was ending, in the entry of the night,
We clear'd the weary headland, and pass'd below the light.
And they heaved a mighty breath, every soul on board but me,
As they saw her nose again pointing handsome out to sea;
But all that I could think of, in the darkness and the cold,
Was just that I was leaving home and my folks were growing old. |
Gary McFarland (Gearheadgary)
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 11:06 am: | |
Thanks FF, I'm a real Fan of the cape horn ships.
Gary |
Ian Giffin (Admin)
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 17, 2004 - 1:57 pm: | |
The Big Wheel
"In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone. The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared. Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds.
He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries. Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either. If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job.
The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town. No luck. The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince whoever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything.
The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel. An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour and I could start that night... I raced home and called the teenager down the street who baby-sat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep.
This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal. That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel.
When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money--fully half of what I averaged every night. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage. The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.
One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires! There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires. Had angels taken up residence in Indiana, I wondered? I made a deal with the local service station. In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.
I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids. I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys. Then I hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys' pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.
On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. These were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe. A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.
When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning I hurried to the car. I was hoping the kids wouldn't wake up before I managed to get home and get the presents from the basement and place them under the tree. (We had cut down a small cedar tree by the side of the road down by the dump).
It was still dark and I couldn't see much, but there appeared to be some dark shadows in the car - or was that just a trick of the night? Something certainly looked different, but it was hard to tell what. When I reached the car I peered warily into one of the side windows. Then my jaw dropped in amazement.
My old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver's side door, scrambled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat. Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans. Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes: There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was a whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items. And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.
As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude, and I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning. Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop."
----------------
Ian
www.busnut.com |
Gary McFarland (Gearheadgary)
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 17, 2004 - 2:26 pm: | |
Wow, that was real nice Ian.
Gary |
niles steckbauer (Niles500)
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 17, 2004 - 2:58 pm: | |
NICE! |
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